What is ‘Change’ then?

My close pals always ask me about how am I doing and what’s new in life. My customary reply will be ‘As usual, nothing new’. Once I wrote myself, ‘changing is a nature of nature’. Nothing remains the same in the world; everything changes physically chemically, biologically, ecologically, geographically, internally, externally and so on. A tiny baby’s tooth grows each second and so does its every cell of body. Every man loses his precious one hour of his age by every hour; earth moves thousands of miles away from its previous point in a minute; a baby inside a mother’s womb gets the form of child from nothing in nine months (in human case; animal’s case faster!), a man bids adieu to the world in no time; a dead man turns mummy with time; the mummy transformed into soil; soil into shrubs with time!

To move on without rest is Time’s religious duty and to be changed is of nature. There is no victory over them; the beautiful moments with Gopinis of Lord Krishna are now only a story; the ‘Agniparikshya’ of Sita is past; victory over Ravana by Ram is now a parable; Kuber’s richness is only a gossip; Helen’s beauty is just a simile now; Hercules’ strength is an icon now. Shakespeare is transformed into shrubs; Wordsworth’s heart does neither leap up nor can his eyes behold. Everyday and each second, I am being pushed to the death cave and I still am daring to utter, ‘As usual, nothing new’.

May be the truth is that I trust miracle; I want miraculous change in life! I can’t see the changes that are happening slowly in life. It may be because I want to wide open my eyes upon the drastic change that I expect to be called ‘change’. I ignored the fact that Trojan War was not over in one day like I read the book; Ravan didn’t get immortality boom from Lord Shiva in one hour but by his years of his prayers and hardships he went through. Buddha wasn’t enlightened as he ran out his palace but with the patience and continual learning for several years. I want change as a sudden lightening on earth and I ignore the fact that it took several hours inside the womb of sky to complete its processes for a lightening! I want to call ‘change’ to that change which occurs in a fragment of second; I want a baby to be a man in one day. Despite the truth when I look back my past and recollect my experiences for how much change I have been through, I see it happened with the phases of time but may be I want to shorten those memories and pretend that it happened once because past is playable, one can play his past how he likes; rewind, forward, next, previous, stop every button is available for past memories!

The current life is hell! Hell that I presume that is full with disgust, frustration, distortion, and longing habit for wonderful paradise. Paradise is always a future where people keep their sacred desires and dreams. People’s living is nothing but a Wait! They wait for the fulfillment of their dreams. I asked one day to a drunkard why he drinks so much, he replied he can’t wait, for him drinking is sleeping which shortens his time and takes him to the jaws of death soon. He argued that he is a virtual man with no sins, he did no cheating in his life, and he committed no forgery, rape, theft or murder! He was suffered from the fate and lost his family because of war. He wants to be there where his children are! Committing suicide is a sin so it is not his option! I am also lost in waiting… My nature, my principle, my idealisms are no use here like they were there. My beliefs and values are only a mockery here and usually ignored. I was born with principles, I used to think, and these would lead me to righteous path in future. I was reared with the hope of reaching to paradise by my firm beliefs and ideals’ aeroplane. I thought I was on a right plane. Like that drunkard, I did no sins (at least I tried), I did no wrong. But the present and present scenarios shake my firmness and cause an earthquake that my tower of ideals is about to fall. My tower is about to fall like a Sept. 11!

Yet, I am alive. Maybe somewhere an intangible thread of hope is there inside me. Maybe the ‘wait’ is everything here. May be I am about to change. Maybe……

Changes bring hope to the life. Change is nature of nature. That’s why, may be the hope inside me is not dead yet. Pandora opened her box and threw it on the air at last, may be that hope had made nest inside my heart …somewhere….

Still, changes I can’t see; newness I can’t see around. I have that problem that is of everyone being a human. I do not know what animals’ problems because I am human. I want to play flute like Krishna without learning; I want to be like Ram without 14 years of forest life; I want to be Buddha without leaving my palace; I want to get Helen without Trojan war; I want to be Shakespeare without his poverty; I want to be John Keats without his disease; I want to be perfect without practice; I want my life to be changed drastically into something else, right now!; I want miracles; I am waiting for it; I am lost on it! My hope gets murdered for a while…. I become hopeless when I am blindfolded by these lust, desires, unearthly truth, and bloody yearnings. Every day I am inviting my death, everyday I am walking towards my own grave, every second I am living like in hell.

I am taming ‘new-ness’ each day but I can’t see. I am walking with ‘change’ all day long, but I can’t feel its warmth. May be the truth is that Truth is only that which I can taste with my five sense of organs. Others are not!.....may be….